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Becoming Loveable Book

You’ll see shelves lined with books on relationships, love, and marriage in any bookstore or library. The vast majority are read by women trying to find love, make sense of their relationship, or discover ways to repair a broken love. Almost all of these books are slanted toward the women who will read them; few are directed toward men. Yet most men lag behind women in their understanding of love and relationships. They need guidance.

 

Why? Because men love different. Understanding those differences will help a man navigate the sometimes turbulent seas of relationship.

 

Richard Matzkin, an award-winning author of three books, wrote this book from the male perspective. Men process information differently than women, so the book’s ideas are delivered in way men understand, short, meaty chapters, without case histories, dialog, or written exercises. There is no fluff, just concrete, specific, and goal-oriented ideas since most men tend to be tuned to action. The book lays out the raw truth about love from the male point of view. This kind of love is distinctly masculine, not New Age nor the old model of male dominance. Matzkin’s approach invites the man, straight or gay, to show his masculine core and ask his partner to show up with her full feminine power.

Richard speaks about his new book

Matzkin introduces thirty-nine behaviors that encompass the essence of love. These loving behaviors, when practiced and brought into a relationship, will cultivate a strong, unbreakable partnership. He used his four-decade loving relationship as proof of these principles. The book is not for young men still exploring but for a man with life experiences and ready to settle down into a committed relationship with one person. And the book is not for people with deeply troubled relationships as this is not therapy. Readers looking for a quick fix won’t find it here. What they will find is a way of life that invites profound, abiding love.

 

A foundation built on a bedrock of a solid love between intimate partners is potent. This book is for men wanting to expand their relationship and deepen their commitment to a genuinely love-abled life.

To be released Fall 2023

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BECOMING LOVE-able by Richard Matzkin

How a man can grow to be a more loving partner

Manifesto

The motivation to write this poetic essay was Richard coming to realize his blindness to a truth that has been hiding in plain sight. And it became his call to action for men.

 

Nightly, the news media carries reports of mass shootings, child molestation, road rage, vandalism, sexual harassment, and domestic violence. People instinctively assume that men are the likely perpetrators, and in the vast majority of cases, they are. The incidence of war, rape, crime, torture, genocide, and terrorism is mainly at the hands of men. Though women are certainly not blameless, the reality is that a far more significant amount of the evil, hurtful and unloving actions in the world are committed by men—men who are not in touch with their hearts.

 

Matzkin believes it's time men open their eyes, realize their responsibility, and do something about it. Men are colluding by maintaining silence in the face of malicious actions and not protesting. Men remain part of the problem by not doing all they can to open themselves to love. 

 

These are the dual goals of the book. First, to help men cultivate and develop their natural inclination to love and be loved. And second, to apply their loving nature in support of efforts to heal the conflicts that divide person from person, community from community, and country from country.

Endorsements for Manifesto

 

Richard has written an important book.  His work follows the ancient tradition of warriorship and is an important resource for all men.  — Jed Diamond, PhD, author of 16 books for and about men, including The Enlightened Marriage.

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Richard speaks about his MANifesto

In a world of blame, we need inspiration; not the inspiration to kill or be killed, but the inspiration to love and be loved.  MANifesto: A Call For Men To Become Warriors For Kindness is just such an inspiration. 

                         —Warren Farrell, PhD, author of, The Boy Crisis, and numerous books about gender.

MANIFESTO by Richard Matzkin

A call for men to become warriors of kindness

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An intimate look into the workings of a truly magnificent partnership and exploration of the human capacity for generous and mature love.

 

In this unique inquiry into the most profound incarnation of love, author Richard Matzkin looked to his extraordinary, three-decade-long marriage to Alice as a living laboratory to research the elements that comprise a truly loving, magnificent partnership. As a result, he discovered thirty-nine Loving Promises statements of intention you pledge to yourself, not your partner, that are the behavioral components of deep, abiding love.

 

These Promises are a profound path to transforming even a good relationship into a magnificent one.

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In addition to the usual vows lovers make to each other, vows of commitment, honesty, acceptance, unselfishness, and fidelity the Promises include more obscure but no less important ones such as: I Will Regard You As My Equal, I Will Participate In Your Life, I Will Challenge You When Necessary, I Will Not Manipulate You, I Will Protect Our Confidentiality, I Will Honor Your Family, I Will Respect Our Independence. Each one of these pledges is an essential aspect of a loving relationship.