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On Turning 80

The day I turned 80 I felt like I crossed the threshold into an entirely new dimension (or like Richard says, “Entered into a new dementia”) It was called: FINAL CHAPTER OF LIVING LIFE AS A HUMAN ON THIS PLANET EARTH. It is really hard to put this experience into words, but I will try. Looking at the outside through my old eyes, the world looked unchanged and familiar, while Inside of me it felt different. I felt like an ageless being, and at the same time, the cute little blonde, curly haired, chubby baby girl.. the one who transformed into an old lady with white, curly hair, wrinkles and drooping body. Because I have lived a long life so far, my many sad, happy, loving, amazing, scary life experiences sometimes seemed to have happened ages ago and and with the blink of an eye, and a lightbulb flash of the brain my memory can bring the experience into the present moment. We all live so many lifetimes within this life.

In this chapter of the life of Alice, I am watching my body become more delicate, friends and family dying, things that used to be easy are more challenging, Iosing my phone and water bottle at least 40 times a day. My mind is like a sieve. At the same time, because of my life experiences I have traded old teenage drama for peace of mind. I know as long as I am alive and able, I will love, create, and contribute. Sometimes when I walk by a mirror, I scream with shock at what I see, and at the same time I am in awe of the beauty. To me, the lines and wrinkles, warts, black and blue marks, vericose veins, sagging skin, brain fog are simply reminders of the preciousness of life. I see that I am a part of all nature. I appear, I live, I bloom, I die...


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